You only do two days

Today I taught for the first time in about two months. Slave labour. The Al Jouf University summer school has a ridiculously easy workload, but it’s a lot tougher than term time. The combination of the searing heat, combined with the even more oppressive rules inside the Kingdom, make it tricky at the best of times, but the thing that really saps your infidel spirit is the lack of company. During term time we play pool volleyball, have parties, and organise various other activities like the Al Jouf Olympics, open mic night, etc. During summer school, with the bulk of the sociable teachers having left or taken holiday, none of that happens. The positive side of this means I have more time on my hands to get something productive done, but the days certainly move a lot slower. Sitting with Eck the other day in the compound, chatting about the future and what we planned to do when we left Saudi, got me thinking about a piece of wisdom from The Wire’s Avon Barksdale, quoted whilst locked up in a Baltimore penitentiary:

“You only do two days. The day you go in. And the day you come out”

Damn straight. If ever there was a mentality I’d recommend for someone coming to work in Saudi it would be that. Obviously Avon didn’t have the luxury of meeting his girlfriend in Europe for a few weeks half way through his sentence; he probably didn’t have a private swimming pool next to his en-suite jail cell, and he probably didn’t get paid a tax-free salary to be there, but the comparison still stands.

On topic, there was tension at University today as two well-built, heavily bearded, and decidedly angry looking Saudi men marched into the school and asked to see a student. The preface to this was an alleged fight between two of the students, which resulted in one of the aforementioned students calling his brother, who happens to be a member of the religious police. I fear for the student who may incur this bearded stranger’s wrath, he certainly didn’t look like he was there for a cup of tea and a shisha. I don’t want to talk too much about the mutawa (religious police) for fear of being branded an infidel swine and having my hands chopped off, so I’ll leave that for another time.

It may not be the most exciting chapter of my life, but I see things here I wouldn't get the chance to anywhere else in the world, and I can guarantee that when I get out I'll appreciate the freedom more than ever. And after all, like Avon Barksdale, I'm only here for two days..

Finally, my thoughts go out to the people of Norway, and the family of Amy Winehouse. R.I.P

Five guys named Mohammed

I'm surrounded by them, so I'm posting this song in their honour. It reminds me of my childhood. My mum had the c.d, I didn't grow up in 1950's America. Enjoy, and if you like it check out Choo Choo Ch'boogie

Round 2

After a glorious month spent being a massive infidel in England and Sevilla, seeing exotic things like grass, trees and women driving, and tasting forbidden fruit like beer and bacon, I am back in the yellow wasteland they call Saudi Arabia. The two big beneficiaries of this will be my bank account and my blog; the hiatus is over and considering I finish work at 11:00am every day I'll have enough time on my hands to update it a lot more. I promise. 

Believe it or not the Royal Kingdom of Saudi Arabia hasn't changed much since I've been away, but it has got noticeably hotter. It's 8:00am at the moment and bloody boiling! The average temperature is about 43 degrees (110 degrees, for my American readers), and it gets up towards 50 sometimes. Too hot even for a black man like me. Thank God (Allah, for my Muslim readers) for swimming pools and air conditioning. 

Summer school in Al Jouf isn't as fun as term time; over half the teachers are on holiday and all of the good students have already passed. However, getting to finish before midday and get the bus home soon afterwards means we can try and do something productive for the rest of the day. What could be more productive than drinking joy juice and playing darts? A valid question, I’m sure you’ll agree. In my case, improving my Portuguese. An exciting opportunity has arisen in Brazil for when I return next February, and with Andre gone (the Brazilian/American guy who used to teach here) I’ll have less opportunities to practice, so I’ll try and study as hard as I can instead of getting sunburnt whilst drinking yeast.

I won’t start working for a few days because the mid-term exams start tomorrow, so I’ll be invigilating and generally looking busy, but I have had the chance to see some of the students again.

“Teacher Ben, you are back! Mashallah. England good? What are quiz answers?”

The students here may be lazy, but you can’t deny their friendliness or generosity. They gave me a round of applause when I came into Eck’s class earlier, which was nice of them, if a little embarrassing.

I’ll be posting photos and videos, as well as the occasional update on life in the Kingdom, and the football season doesn’t start for a month so you’ll be saved from my overblown football rants for the mean time.

It was great seeing friends, family and the girlfriend the past month, and to those of you I didn’t see I’m sure I will when I return, and I’ll leave you with this quote, once said by a wise young Brazilian woman, which couldn’t be more relevant when you need to be patient in your wait for greater things:

“The passing of time is like the clouds. When you stand there and watching them they seem to barely move, but look again and in the blink of an eye they are gone”

Until next time, fica com Deus. البلسمينة

Indie come quick

Haven't blogged in ages, so thought I'd give you this. A band I've been listening to a lot recently, and relevant cause I brought the sun with me from Sevilla to England, so here it is

speak soon, Insha'allah

The numbers game

3 - number of days until I'm back in England
2 - number of days until my birthday
1 - number of days until the big compound leaving party

YALLA!!

How to play chess

On the bus back from work yesterday I was playing chess with Jeff. He won. I felt like Bodie Broadus getting schooled by D'Angelo on The Wire. If you haven't seen it, watch it, it's probably the best TV series I've seen. I watched four seasons in two months when I first got here, that's about 47 hours. I felt like a Baltimore native. Here's a clip of the scene I was referring to.

"The King stay the King, everything stay who he is. The pawns, they get capped quick"

just like in Saudi

Graduation

“Your blog is boring now, all you write about is football”

Maybe a fair comment, but as the season has just finished I’ll try and rectify this and write some more about my exciting life in the Las Vegas of the Middle East. Not a hint of sarcasm there (or there).

It’s the last day of work today, we’re triple checking the exams we’ve already marked and double checked, and then we’ve got 12 days on the compound free to get drunk, watch cricket, and swim. Then on June 16^th people will go their various ways; some are leaving Saudi for good, others are having a 3 month holiday (for those not working summer school), an unlucky few are staying to work summer school, and I’m getting a 4 week break in England.

Recently there has been some massive gossip. I’m not sure if it’s true yet but I’ll print it anyway, tabloid style. One of the Syrian bilingual teachers, who teaches Elementary English in the other campus, has been arrested and is going to jail, for being gay (for want of a better term) with a male Saudi student. Mish mumkin ya teacher. Eck and I asked the student who told us this gossip what would happen to the offender:

“Nothing serious teacher, just three years in prison, maybe”

Three years in a Saudi prison in the oppressive heat trying not to drop the soap around Egyptian convicts doesn’t sound like a walk in the park. Although I suppose if the aforementioned Syrian bats for the other side he might not have such a bad time.

It’s not really a surprise that this sort of stuff goes on in the Kingdom, given the oppression. You literally never see women, anywhere. I haven’t spoken to, or seen the face of one Saudi woman since I’ve been here, and I very much doubt I will before I leave. They’re not allowed to drive, they’re not allowed to go out into the street without a male family member (and even then they are completely covered up), they have their own sections in restaurants, and all education is strictly single sex. All of this means young Saudi guys grow up in a completely male environment; the only girls/women they have contact with are their sisters and mother. Even cousins are off limit from the age of puberty, considering they may well end up getting married to them. The perceived value of a “pure” Saudi bloodline coming from one family outweighs the risk of a genetic mismatch from inbreeding, in the eyes of many families here. For a country whose system breeds homosexuality (in both males and females), it certainly isn’t tolerant of it.

In other, more light-hearted news, we have two new kittens, although one is being given away next week. Manny is three months old, he’s staying, he’ll be moving in with Eck and I in a couple of weeks when we upgrade our villa (get ready for MTV Cribs Al Jouf part 2). The other kitten, Steve Nash, is only three weeks old, and is being given to one of the students on the female campus next week. I think Steve Nash might be a female, but the name is staying regardless.

Swimming pool volleyball season is well and truly underway. It’s about 40 degrees every day now so it’s getting too hot to be anywhere but the pool. I’ll be blacker than a Sudanese farmer by the time you next see me. In other social news we hosted a pub quiz which went down well; Nick’s team beating off stiff competition from Richard’s team. We also had a second pub crawl, photos of which I’ll upload soon. Next weekend we’ll be fleeing our infidel cage and getting our Bedouin on, spending a night in the desert. Also Craig, Eck and I all have birthdays coming up and there’s bound to be some leaving parties too. It’s all happening in Sakaka, Al Jouf. You wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else (you would). Speak soon, Ben x

 SPVB commences

infidels

i teached this

 "teacher, finish time? masha'allah"

 some of the greatest minds in Saudi

 kicking back, marking

 Steve Nash

 Manny, le tired

 ran out of cups

 Drew losing kings

 we still here

"one night in a disco, on the outskirts of 'Frisco"